


Gregory's Angels

by Ditz



Category: South Park
Genre: AU, Charlie's Angels - Freeform, Crime, Humor, M/M, Multi, Romance, Spies, Threesome, secret agents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 19:35:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16290449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ditz/pseuds/Ditz
Summary: Charlie's Angels AU - Kyle, Kenny, and Christophe (Ze Mole), work together as secret agents. And if they also were lovers living together through it all, then so be it. Threesome K2tophe





	1. Prologue

**Gregory’s Angels**

 

_ -Prologue- _

 

_ Once upon a time there were three very different boys… _

 

The first was Christophe de Lorne, a French brunette boy. He had a passion for rebelling and a hatred of both God and dogs from a young age. Trained from childhood Christophe was by far the most known. At just age eight he pulled a resistance that changed the apocalypse and literally reversed his own death.

 

The second was Kyle Broflovski, a fiery American redhead. Born a computer prodigy, he traced a terrorist who placed a snuke in none other than Hillary Clinton by age eight. At age nine he helped to stop a war against whales and dolphins with a modified picture.

 

The third was unexpected talent, Kenny McCormick, an American blond boy from South Park, Colorado. He had a true knack for disguises for either gender. He became the most well-known superhero of South Park, fighting against Cthulhu alongside his friends. A terrific actor and singer, he flirted his way past enemies by age nine.

 

These boys became three very different men…

 

Christope de Lorne became  _ Ze Mole _ , an untraceable spy.

 

_ He dropped from the sky, feet hitting the guard's head along the way down, knocking the man out cold. He landed in a kneeling position on the ground, a hand pulling a smoking cigarette from his mouth. He exhaled smoke, taking in the shocked guard on the other side of the door. He motioned his head to the right, and the guard followed the signal and ran.  _

 

_ "Huh..." Mole said, "I didn't expect that to work." He opened the door swiftly, placing the smoke back inside his mouth and pulling out a pistol from either leg. He aimed outwards of both sides, entering casually. Inside, the men stopped playing cards to gape at him. "Whoever stays, dies." he said simply with an impassive face. "Well?" he urged.  _

 

_ The men eyed him up and down before putting up their hands and walking out the back door in a single-file line. "That was easy." he said after the last man left. Shrugging, he walked over to the computer, strapping his pistols back and taking another drag from his cigarette. _

 

Kyle Broflovski became  _ Red,  _ hacker extraordinaire and long-range shooter.

 

_ The scope of a sniper rifle was positioned with practiced hands, the lens focusing through the forest toward an enemy soldier partly covered by leaves 400 meters away. Red breathed out slowly, watching the man kneel to gun down another. Wind pressed against his sides,  _ _ camouflaging _ _ ghillie suit resisting it and staying in place even as the wind picked up to a harsher force. Red took aim, counting the gravity and wind direction before he pulled the trigger. A shot rang through the forest, a bullet  hitting the target. Eyes widened, mouth gaped, blood splattered and the enemy body thudded to the ground.  _ "North man down."  _ his spotter reported. Red smiled thinly, pride filling his chest even as remorse hit. He pushed away both emotions however, when his spotter called out another soldier's distance and direction. _

 

And Kenny McCormick became  _ Princess,  _ mistress of disguise and bomb expert.

 

_ The bomb counted down, ticking each second that passed. "59 seconds and counting." reported a computer. _

 

_ "Goddammit, Kenny, disarm it already!"  _

 

_ "My name is Princess!" she stated, crossing her arms. _

 

_ "50 seconds and counting." the computer reminded. _

 

_ "What the Hell, man, you're arguing over this _ now?" 

 

_ "Of course I'm arguing over it now!" Princess huffed. "Apologize."  _

 

_ "40 seconds and counting." _

 

_ "Holy shit, shut it down!" _

 

_ "Apologize," Princess repeated seriously.  _

 

_ "You're just going to let us all die?!" the man yelled, coming close to hysterics as the computer reminded them of the time. _

 

_ "30 seconds and counting." _

 

_ "Not if you apologize," she replied easily. _

 

_ "You're being a bitch." he said. _

 

_ "Fine, then we can both die one."  _

 

_ "20 seconds and counting." the computer rang out. _

 

_ "I'M SORRY!" the man finally yelled after a pause. _

 

_ "Relax, dude," she said nonchalantly, turning back to the bomb. She yanked out all the cords at once, pocketing her forgotten wire-cutters. "It was an easy diffuse."  _

 

_ The man fainted while Princess sighed. "At least he learned a valuable lesson....Probably." Heels stepped over him on her way out, the bomb behind her forever paused on 10 seconds. _

 

Together, they were an unstoppable team. One Gregory was proud to call,  _ "Gregory's Angels."  _ Even if Kenny laughed every time he heard the name. 

 


	2. Chapter One

Cigar smoke filled the darkly lit room while men at tables drank from tall glasses of various liquids. The dark building filled with applause as a spotlight beamed to the stage curtains at the head of the room. Curtains parted near the bottom, a glittering silver heel peeking out. It shook to the jeers, kicking out to show a slender; long leg. Spiked heel clacked on the wood beneath as stocking-clad leg led to a dark red; glittering dress.

 

 _“Gentlemen, please welcome tonight’s entertainment,”_ an announcer began through the speakers. His voice reverberated through the walls. _“Miss Princess!”_

 

Through the speakers another voice entered, taking precedence over the announcer. _“Hello, boys,”_ a sultry, low voice began. Curtains pulled from either side, revealing an hourglass figure in a fitted Jessica Rabbit-inspired dress. Bosom pressed against the fabric and low slits from both sides stopped just before her hips.

 

Long, voluptuous, blonde waves settled over either side of her bosom. Lowered head lifted, long lashes batting in the light; stunning blue eyes highlighted by darkly shadowed lids. Contoured face was displayed with light makeup around high cheekbones, accentuating each side smoothly.

 

Painted lips smiled at the sound of the men as a gloved hand rested on her waist. _“Now, now, don’t get too rowdy…”_ she teased in the same low voice. Heels clacked against the flooring with each step down the stage. A long slit up her right side allowed a view of her legs, steps moving the fabric smoothly around the right leg, tempting the viewers.

 

She stopped at the stage’s edge, leg peeking from the slit, hand settling on waist. In her right hand dangled a microphone and she chose this moment to use it. _“At least wait for me to have my way with you first.”_ she winked cheekily, eyes skimming the room only to settle on a bigger man seated in the back.

 

Smiling, she breathed, _“I suppose you’ve been good enough to deserve a song. Then again, I’m not looking for good boys tonight.”_ The crowd laughed, whistling at her from all sides.

 

A soft piano began her song, _“We’re going to start slow.”_ she said. A few of the men booed at this, to which her hand left her waist to rest a finger upon dark red lips. _“Now, now,”_ she began. _“Remember, I’ve got you here_ all night long.” she said softly.

 

 _“And I need to play a little.”_ Eyes closed as she took a breath, and with that she began her song. Her voice filled the room absolutely, the men quieting to listen to the soft soprano that slowly overtook the room.

 

 _“Ooooh…mm…Some people live, for the fortune…”_ (1)

 

A young waiter watched the woman, brown eyes taking in every bit of her figure, the serving tray in his hand forgotten until a gruff reminder from a customer had him walking to the table. He sat the drinks down quickly, ignoring the customer’s comments on promptness smoothly. He took the now-empty tray with him to the bar, setting it down on the edge.

 

The bartender smiled at him, “Taking in the view?” he asked. The waiter simply blinked at him, his face impassive.

 

“Oh leave him alone, Barry, I saw you looking too.” said a man walking up to the bar. He too, was a bartender. He cleaned a glass while looking over to the waiter, “What a voice.” he noted. He looked to the waiter, green eyes meeting brown before he smiled. “Two more beers?” he asked, already placing a glass under the tap.

 

The waiter nodded, “Add one for the guy in the back.”

 

Green eyes looked to the shadowed corner of the room, eyeing the men he found there. “The sociable one?” he asked sarcastically, finding but one man alone at a table in the area.

 

The waiter nodded in response. “Don’t think he’ll tip.” he mentioned casually.

 

“You’ll just have to try harder, Mo,” the bartender replied easily. He watched the man for a moment longer, taking that minute to finish with the drinks. He paused on the last drink, touching the rim. It fizzed slightly after before he handed it to Mo with a nod. “There’s his drink, be sure he likes it, I heard he’s a tough client.” He then looked back to Barry. “I’m going on break.”

 

Barry gave him a sigh in return, “Fine, but don’t take long. In case you haven’t noticed-it’s rush hour, Red.”

 

‘Red’ smiled at Barry while taking off his apron and leaving it beneath the bar, “Don’t worry,” he said simply. “I don’t need long.”

 

‘Mo’ left then, delivering the first two drinks to the middle table with the same impassive expression on his face, “Enjoy.” he said to the men in a bored voice.

 

As Red left to the backroom, Princess finished her first number. _“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”_ she asked the cheering crowd. _“Hm…or was it?”_ She put on a playful smile for the men, _“Now, who wants to pick up the pace a little?”_

 

A new song began to filter through the bar, a faster beat moving through the speakers. _“Don’t go too fast now,”_ she warned the pianist by the stage. _“I like to last as long as I can before I finish.”_ She accompanied her words with a small laugh before she started her song. Unlike the last song, however, she didn’t stand still during this one.

 

 _“You could buy me diamonds; you could buy me pearls…”_ (2) Her left hand moved down her right slowly, stopping at the bent elbow to slide down her curves and across her stomach sensually only to rest once more on her waist. Heels moved down the stage to the right, _“Take me on a cruise around the world.”_ She paused there, swaying her hip as the turned to face the crowd. _“Baby you know, I’m worth it.”_

 

Mo delivered the last drink to the lonesome man, taking his time for once. He set the tray down, eyes looking him up and down as the man watched Princess take center stage. “Your drink, sir,” Mo stated before placing the drink on the table in front of the man.

 

Said-man waved him off, exhaling smoke before taking a drink from the beer. Mo smiled before turning away to the bar once more. At the bar, he took off his own apron, looking down to Barry. 

 

“Going on break.” he said simply.

 

“Goddammit we haven’t been here an hour…“ Barry began.

 

Mo just stared at him with a blank expression. He blinked as Barry continued his rant. Before he could finish Mo was leaving to the backroom, a cigarette already in hand. When he entered he found Red waiting for him, lighter in hand.

 

“Took you long enough,” Red stated.

 

“Had to make sure he drank it. Did you put the pill inside?”

 

Red gave an annoyed expression, “Of course I did.”

 

“Good,” Mo said, allowing Red to light the smoke. Taking a drag of the stick he breathed out smoke before continuing, “Time to find the lackeys.”

 

The piano started an R&B beat to the chorus, the singer’s vocals matching the rhythm perfectly. _“…Mmm, ‘cause a real man knows a real woman when he sees her...”_ A swish of the hips accompanied the singer’s words. _“And a real woman knows a real man…”_ Princess swished her hips once more, pausing in her walk to face forward and deliver a smirk, _“Ain’t ‘fraid to please her.”_ Whistles scattered through the room once more, turning the smirk to a full smile.

 

Her eyes settled on the man in the back, noticing even with her amount of distance and through the shadows, that he was slumping over in his seat. Her smile widened as her song continued.

 

_ “Oooh…” _

 

Red turned to Mole, clicking his watch. He’d since changed from his bartender’s clothing to a fully-black outfit. “Watches synced, five minutes and counting,” Red said, smiling up at the brunette. “Good luck, Mole.” Red said, making his way down to the back door.

 

Mole frowned back, “What has lady luck ever done for me?” he muttered seriously. He took another drag from his cigarette before going back inside through the employee’s door through which he’d entered prior. This time however, he wasn’t in his waiter’s clothes. Instead he wore a sleek, black suit. He’d no tie, leaving his white undershirt’s collar loose.

 

He walked with a straight-back, right past the bar and toward the slumped man. He sat next to him, looking to the nearest people to see them all watching the stage. Looking back to the man he realized he must’ve drank the beer faster than they thought he would. He was completely knocked out instead of just talkative and stoned as intended. Well, there was plan B.

 

Quickly, he pushed the man down under the table. Unlike the rest of the audience he refused to be captivated by the singer, instead he watched for signs of stirring amongst the customers. A phone in his ear crackled as Red turned on his own link.

 

_ “Eye in the sky standing by.” _

 

Mole settled in a relaxed position before he hit his own radio for a reply. _“Engage.”_

 

_ “Engaging.” _

 

The sounds of the song covered the gun’s echo through the night, which by itself was muffled from a silencer on the owner’s sniper rifle. Red looked down the sniper scope, watching his target fall. He shifted on the rooftop of the bar, focusing the lens on where the partner should enter from any second now. He didn’t have to wait long for the partner to find the body. He allowed the man to make a call on his radio, waiting for mere seconds before he shot him too.

_“If you treat me fairly…”_ Princess began, sweeping her leg in a circle. _“I’ll give you all my goods.”_

_ “Two birds down, one sounded the alarm. Your show, Mole.” _

 

Princess continued to sing, _“Treat you like a real woman should.”_ Hand curved down her body slowly, _“Baby I know you’re worth it.”_ She ran her hand down her hair as she continued her song.

 

Mole didn’t have to wait long for the three men closest his table stood and began to walk to his table. It didn’t take long before they noticed he was not the man they were looking for, all pausing in their walk almost in sync. Mole smiled, waving them over with a hand. _“Three approaching.”_ he reported swiftly.

 

 _“Ooooooh!”_ Her hand raised up high as she belted her vocal run.

 

Red watched the sidewalks and streets, having found no more snipers. He waited for the arrival of backup, patiently reloading his gun. He didn’t have to wait nearly as long as he thought he did, as the sound of cars approaching had him watching through his scope again. “Guy’s got a bigger team than we thought.” He muttered to himself. He sighed, taking out a driver before he could exit. “Then again,” he watched the car slam off the road, hitting another new arrival in the process. “Mobs are usually pretty big. Even for a side boss.”

 

Princess strutted back to center stage. _“And a real woman knows a real man ain’t ‘fraid to please her…”_

 

Mole picked up his pistol from its strap on his calf. He peeked it out from the table before the men could find their own weapons. “How about a chat?” he asked, free hand gesturing for them to take seats at his table.

 

 _“And a real man just can’t deny…”_ the song continued.

 

“How about no?” the middle man asked, reaching for his weapon.

 

 _“A woman’s worth…”_ Princess belted out, hand on chest.

 

Mole shot him just as his hand touched the pistol’s holster. The shot echoed as all at once the bar stopped everything. Music was foregone, pianist ducking as the singer stared at Mole and the two men. Then, the body fell, blood spewing over the table behind it. It thudded as it hit the ground, the sound echoing in a macabre way through the room. And as if only just realizing the danger the shot presented, the rest of the men in the bar flew into a rage-running to be the first out of the building. They pushed against each other, some shouting ill comments and complaints that were forgotten in the rush to get out as fast as they could.

 

A man in the right corner raised a weapon as Mole reached a standoff with the remaining two in front of him. He was about to shoot Mole when a bullet flew straight into his hand. He screamed, dropping the weapon and grasping onto his hand tightly. He wasn’t given a second to figure out what had happened when he was shot straight through the head. His body fell to the ground, blood splattering the walls behind him. His friend, who’d only just stood, still had shock written on his face when he followed the bullet’s path to the stage. He gaped openly at the sight.

 

There, kneeling with gun poised in both hands was Princess. Her dress has been pulled back around her right leg entirely to show a holster strapped to her garter. Her teasing face had changed to one much more serious as well. Gone was the smile, instead a frown and stern eyes turned to him, “Hands up,” she stated seriously.

 

He did it immediately, her tone leaving him no room to argue.

 

Red shot once more before they spotted him and began to shoot back. _“I need backup.”_ He sat with his back against the railing, pulling a pistol from his calf’s holster. “Goddammit, I told them this guy was serious.” He muttered before standing and turning to the ladder that led to the roof, immediately shooting an ascending man in the head. _“I thought this was a limited-casualty mission.”_ he said in the mic, kneeling to get a better shot at the man’s followers.

 

 _“It was supposed to be,”_ Mole responded. Around him most of the patrons had already left, the remaining few pushing out the doors and past the backup men. _“Next time you get the guy’s talking, they saw me as a threat immediately.”_

 

Red rolled his eyes, taking out the last man climbing the ladder and descending it himself. _“And what, they don’t see me as one?”_

 

A new voice entered the radio, _“French-dick and Circumcised, cut the shit.”_ It was Princess, who’d chosen to shoot the surrendering man as more lackeys entered the arena.-He’d tried to grab his gun once back-up entered and she was having none of it.-Not after her performance had been interrupted so rudely.

 

 _“Out of all the nicknames in the universe, you picked those?”_ Mole asked, knocking over the table and using it as a shield. He shot at the incoming men, aiming to kill.

 

 _“You’ve known him for how long and you ask that question?”_ Red asked, kicking a man coming up behind him in the face before letting go and falling the rest of the way to the ground. He landed on both feet, knees bending only slightly before he pressed his back against the wall. _“Oh, and backup?”_

 

 _“Kinda busy here,”_ Princess answered. _“And I’m a ‘she.’”_ she corrected.

 

 _“Fine.”_ he replied, poking out of the building’s right side to shoot another person. _“’You’ve known_ her _for how long and you ask that question?’”_ He pressed against the wall again and reloaded. _“Mole, can’t you just grab the target and leave?”_

 

 _“Maybe if we had grenades,”_ Mole answered, eyes searching for the door. Still more people were entering, _“We’re pretty much surrounded at this point.”_

 

A sigh entered the com, _“I guess it’s a good thing I have just that.”_

 

 _“What?”_ Red asked, ducking away from more shots. _“Where?”_

 

 _“What’d you think I strapped to my other leg?”_ Princess asked. _“Besides, you know how much I love exploding things.”_

 

 _“Was that some sort of innuendo?”_ Red asked, panting as he ran to take cover behind the dumpster.

 

 _“Oh, honey,”_ she replied, moving her dress over both legs to find the strapped bombs. _“And you’ve known me for how long?”_ she teased, back against the wall behind stage.  “I guess I’ll have my finale song anyway. ‘Girl on Fire’ was the way to go after all.” she mumbled to herself with a smile. She unstrapped the grenades, taking a pin from one and throwing it towards the entrance.

 

Princess screamed as the grenade flew past the lackeys, “BOMBS AWAY!”

 

Some men ran when the grenade flew towards them while others stayed in a paused state, too in-shock to move. Mole pressed himself under the bar seats and closed his eyes. His hands covered his eyes and ears as the bomb went off. Screams were everywhere, but were faint as he heard a beeping sound in his ears taking precedence.

 

The rest was history, as the remaining men ran out and left in groups. Mole took a moment to prepare himself before he pushed out of the safety of the seats. _“Merde…”_ he said as he took in the damage.

 

“I know,” Princess replied back, “We’re never going to be allowed back here again.” Mole lifted an eyebrow to which she smiled. “Hey, it was a great gig while it lasted.” She shrugged nonchalantly, stepping off the stage. Her silver heels clacked against the floor as they passed various bodies and parts, stepping over each easily. Mole followed, taking a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it on a table that was on fire.

 

“It was alright,” he said, shrugging himself. “Red’s going to bitch once he sees this.”

 

Princess sighed, “Yeah, I suppose so.”

 

As if on cue, said-man entered the room. He rubbed his ear with a hand, the other grasping onto his gun just-in-case. “Holy Hell, Couldn’t you have at least warned me?”

 

“Hey, you knew I had grenades, I thought that _was_ the warning.” Princess said, squeezing his shoulder as she passed by him.

 

Red surveyed the damage, “We’re never going to be allowed to come back here.” he sighed.

Princess laughed as Mole took a drag of his smoke. “Help me with the guy’s body.” he said simply.

 

Together, Mole and Red gathered the unconscious man’s body and drug it outside while Princess pulled up the car. “Never doing this shit again.” Red said, closing the trunk with the body inside it.

 

“That’s what you say every time.” Mole said. “But we always do this shit again.”

 

After gathering what they needed from the wreckage and behind the dumpster they got into the car and began the trip to base. The trip was fairly silent except for Princess humming “Girl on Fire,” all the way to base.

 

They dropped the man off when they arrived, letting Gregory take control from there. He didn’t seem a bit surprised by the amount of clean-up needed after they told their tale, but his eyes gave a stern look to Princess. “I thought Kyle stopped shit like this.” he mentioned. “You know the needless killing and dramatics.”

 

Kyle, otherwise known as Red, placed his hands on his hips. “Only when the job doesn’t have surprise endings.” he blamed.

 

“And Kenny, when did you get the grenades? You’re not allowed in the bomb room...” Gregory shifted onto Princess.

 

“I always had them,” Kenny, or ‘Princess’ answered easily.

 

“And Christophe-“

 

Christophe, or ‘Mole,’ just turned away and began to walk out the mission control room.

 

“Did he just ignore me?”

 

“Yep.” Kyle and Kenny said at once.

 

Gregory sighed in defeat. “He’s got to stop doing that.”

 

"Yeah, he's got to or I'm going to start thinking he's Craig in disguise..." Kenny replied. 

 

Gregory crossed his arms while Kyle smiled. "Okay, I actually agree with that one." 

 

-0-

  
  


"I still don't see why he had to take my grenades." Kenny stated, entering the house as soon as Kyle opened the door. 

  
  
  


"Because you weren't supposed to have them in the first place," Kyle began. "Besides," he continued, "They were technically his property."

  
  
  


Kenny just sighed in response, taking off his heels by the door. "It's not like I can get them online." 

  
  
  


"Actually-" Christophe began, only to be silenced by Kyle's hand on his mouth. 

  
  
  


"I'm sure he'll give them to you on our next mission." Kyle said, pausing mid-step on the way to his bedroom. "That is,  _ if  _ we get another mission."

  
  
  


"We will," Christophe assured, lighting a cigarette. 

  
  
  


"Doubtful, especially if he remembers how much you care about  _ rules."  _ Kyle emphasized. "You know, like the one about smoking in the house..." 

  
  
  


"Where am I supposed to smoke?" Christophe asked, blowing the smoke in Kyle's direction. 

  
  
  


"I don't know, but I can think of a few places you could stick that cig-" Kyle was interrupted by Kenny repeating Kyle's motion to Christophe on Kyle. His hand pressed against the redhead's mouth gently.

  
  
  


"Okay, so we're all just frustrated tonight. I blame the minor tinnitus.-Well that and Gregory's yelling, not that I could really hear him at all, but still when is our aggravation  _ not  _ his fault." Kenny amended. "However, I think I know a little something to get out those last frustrations." 

  
  
  


"I know where this is headed..." Christophe spoke, getting out his pack of cigarettes.

  
  
  


"Do you really, though?" Kyle asked him, annoyed expression on his face as he watched Christophe ponder his words.

  
  
  


"Then, we're not talking about smoking?" 

  
  
  


"Well, _ after, _ maybe..." 

  
  
  


Kyle bit his lip, "I'm going to hate myself for saying this, but yes, I'm definitely in-And no, it's not digging, either Mole! Put that away!"

  
  
  


Christophe paused, shovel in hand, "Oh, you meant sex." 

  
  
  


"Of course he did," Kyle said, frustration still at the forefront. 

  
  
  


"Unlike you two, I don't focus on my dick all the time," Christophe stated, crossing his arms. 

  
  
  


"I don't focus-"

  
  
  


"God, Kyle, of  _ course  _ I was talking about digging!" Kenny interrupted, shaking his head. "Sometimes I wonder about you... C'mon, Christophe, let's go dig in the hole again. I think I saw something last time." 

  
  
  


"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kyle asked them both, throwing his hands up in the air. He was ignored, however, as the two walked out to the backyard. "That hole is already hitting the the neighbor's pipeline!" he shouted after them, the door shutting softly behind the two as their only response. "Goddammit. Fine. I'm taking a shower." he told himself softly before shuffling to his bathroom.

  
  
  


Meanwhile, Christophe leaned on his shovel, smoking cigarette in hand. "You think he'll ever realize we only go out here to smoke?" 

  
  
  


"Nah, not with the hole as big as it is." Kenny replied, taking a drag from his own cigarette.

  
  
  


"Yeah, I wonder what did that," Christophe pondered aloud. 

  
  
  


Kenny turned to him, eyebrows raised. "Wait, I thought you did it." There was a pause, both wondering the implications of the statement. 

  
  
  


"Huh." they both said in unison, exhaling smoke with the declaration. 

  
  
  


-0-

  
  
  


Kyle turned the shower knob to the "off" position, taking a moment to breathe in the steam before he opened the curtains. Expecting to see his bathroom empty, he promptly started, almost falling flat on his face. "What the Hell are you doing in here, Kenny?"

  
  
  


Kenny turned, pausing in his wiping off of his makeup. "I'm cleaning my face, what does it look like?" he stated simply with a serious expression on his face.

  
  
  


Kyle huffed, hands on hips. "I mean, why aren't you in your own bathroom?" 

  
  
  


Kenny blinked, "Because Christophe's in it." he replied as if the answer was obvious." Then, with a smile, "Besides, unlike my bathroom, this one has a view." His eyes lowered, gesturing to Kyle what he was showing to the room. 

  
  
  


Quickly, Kyle grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, face reddening. He pinched his nose at Kenny's knowing smile. "But why is Christophe in your bathroom-You know what, nevermind. We have four bathrooms in this house and somehow one or both of you end up in mine." He spoke the last bit partly to himself, voice lowering as his body sagged from the tense position in which it had been. 

  
  
  


"Maybe if you locked the door..." Kenny started, choosing not to finish his statement after seeing Kyle's strained expression. 

  
  
  


"I don't lock it because-" But Kyle didn't get to end his own sentence as his door opened to reveal a muddy Christophe. The redhead started again, in his mind wondering why it surprised him at all at this point. "Why-"

  
  
  


"Shower." Christophe replied shortly. He didn't stop to say anymore, instead choosing to bypass Kenny-leaving the door wide open behind him. 

  
  
  


It was when he was by the tub that he began to disrobe entirely, starting with his pants. He did this casually even as Kenny watched him closely and Kyle looked away, fingers pinching his nose in a way that would make Stan believe he really was a part of his family. "Why are you in here?" the redhead finished, stepping out of the shower and pushing passed a now-completely nude Christophe. 

  
  
  


"To take a shower," he replied, turning the knobs and getting under the water. 

  
  
  


"No-I mean, you know what I mean!" Kyle established. "Why aren't you in Kenny's bathroom?"

  
  
  


Christophe gave him an odd look as he stood beneath the steaming water. "Because, I'm in your bathroom?" he questioned in response.

  
  
  


"Goddammit, at least close the curtain, you're getting water everywhere." 

  
  
  


Christophe shrugged, picking up Kyle's shampoo from the side rack and inspecting the back. "Why do you use shampoo for brown hair?" he asked, pouring some of the substance on his hand. 

  
  
  


"Why're you using my shampoo?" Kyle countered.

  
  
  


Christophe's face was impassive as he lathered the shampoo into his hair. "I didn't bring my own." he stated, matter-of-factly. Then, sniffing the air, "Smells like lavender, it's nice." Christophe smiled, his head covered in white bubbles. "You didn't answer." he added, looking back to Kyle, whose own eyes stayed on the puddling water next to the shower. 

  
  
  


"I had coupons." Kyle finally replied in a low voice. "I got it for fifty-cents." He shrugged, nearly slipping when he turned to Kenny, who was putting soaking the long; blond wig from the bar. "Kenny?" he asked in a strained voice.

  
  
  


"Yeah?" Kenny asked back, draining the sink and taking out his wig. 

  
  
  


"Why're you naked?"

  
  
  


Kenny looked down, "Oh yeah, I forgot I didn't wear underwear today..." 

  
  
  


"That doesn't explain anything." Kyle countered.

  
  
  


"Well, you're naked." Kenny said then, tone defensive.

  
  
  


"I just got out of the shower!" 

  
  
  


"As far as I can see, I was the only one  _ not  _ naked. It would've been odd if I hadn't at least gotten into underwear, you know, if I'd had any."

  
  
  


Kyle sighed, giving up the fight. He watched Kenny gently comb his wig for a moment before he turned to see a still-smiling Christophe grabbing a rag from the sink next to him. "I don't even know what to do." he said, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes. He breathed, trying to make sense of the craziness that was their household. 

  
  
  


At least, he tried but failed. Kenny pushed passed him, using his hand on the redhead's shoulder to let the man know he was going by him. "All aboard!" Was all Kyle heard before Kenny hopped into the shower behind Christophe. 

  
  
  


"You've got to be kidding me..." Kyle shook his head, "At least they're getting the smoke-smell off..." he muttered to himself, thinking of the smoke-filled bar. He looked back to them both, watching Kenny use a heavy dose of his shampoo. "Screw it." he muttered before entering the shower behind them and closing the curtain.

 

\------

  1. _If I Ain't Got You_ by Alisha Keys
  2. _A Woman's Worth_ by Alisha Keys



  
  



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